Babies are adorable in moderation. Because they are lacking in social skills and general politeness, they do not know what moderation means. Also because they do not speak English. Sometimes, howerver, moderation will simply not do; babies are not needed at all. The following is a list of places I do not want to see babies anymore.
Grocery Store
Inside a Bag of Cereal
Quizno's
Working at a Quizno's
On a Sandwich Made at Quizno's
Riding a Dog Like a Horse
Inside a Basket Left On My Doorstep
Laundromat
Laundromat Parking Lot Playing Craps Looking Shady as Shit
Stuck Inside a Tree Trying to Get Honey a la Winnie the Pooh
On the Street Working as a Circus Barker
Barbershop
Barbershop 2: Back in Business
Police Interrogation Room During 'Good Cop, Baby Cop' Routine
In a Car as a Designated Driver
Dressed as Fruit Inside a Fruit Basket
Leading a Mosh Pit
On a Rollercoaster
Starting Power Forward For the Phoenix Suns
Operating a Rollercoaster
Inside a Basket Left On My Doorstep With a Heartfelt Note Saying That the Mother Loves the Baby With All Her Heart But She Is Incapable of Providing For Him and Prays That I Can Give Him the Type of Home He Needs
On a Cruise Ship
On a Somali Pirate Ship Boarding a Cruise Ship
On a Space Pirate Ship Boarding the International Space Station
Seriously Stop Fucking Leaving Babies On My Doorstep, There Are a Bunch of Cats in My Neighborhood and If I'm Not Home When You Drop Off the Baby He/She Will Almost Definitely Be Attacked By Cats
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